scoutsout80
02-02-2010, 03:43 PM
A retired Army sergeant was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for his loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.
What did she think he had an elephant? So since he was retired and has little to do, on impulse he told her that no, he didn't have a dog, hewas starting the Purina Diet again. He added that he probably shouldn't, because he ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
He then told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and he was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with his story.) Horrified, she asked if he ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned him. He told her no, he stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit them both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let him shop there anymore.
What did she think he had an elephant? So since he was retired and has little to do, on impulse he told her that no, he didn't have a dog, hewas starting the Purina Diet again. He added that he probably shouldn't, because he ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
He then told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and he was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with his story.) Horrified, she asked if he ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned him. He told her no, he stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit them both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let him shop there anymore.