For your info,,,,,,,,

[sparkie]

Jack Schitt

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them.

Sincerely,
sparkie

[Stark]

lol sparkie you're already a legend :D

[sparkie]

lol sparkie you're already a legend :D

Show me the money,,,,, or I'm about to post stuff that'll attract women,,,,,,,,,,

[sparkie]

For Americans only,,,,,,

THE NEW STATE MOTTOS ---


Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity


Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!


Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat


Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything


California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda


Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother


Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own
It Yet


Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water


Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids


Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism


Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland
Scum, But Leave Your Money)


Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But
The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good


Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"


Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free


Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn


Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States


Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names


Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our
Tourism Campaign


Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster


Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It


Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most
Tax Brackets)


Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians


Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes


Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State


Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work


Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing
Crazies, And Very Little Else


Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest


Nevada: Hookers and Poker!


New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone


New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto
Right Here!


New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets


New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The
Right To An Attorney ...


North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable


North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!


Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan


Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing


Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner


Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal


Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island


South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually
Surrender


South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota


Tennessee: The Educashun State


Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)


Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus


Vermont: Yep


Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels
Don't Mix?


Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!


Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?


West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!


Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese


Wyoming: Where Men Are Men... and the sheep are scared!

[Mel]

Show me the money,,,,, or I'm about to post stuff that'll attract women,,,,,,,,,,

EEEEWWWW...:scared:

[sparkie]

EEEEWWWW...:scared:

Sorry, Mel,,,, If you don't like girls,,,,,,,

[sparkie]

Ever wonder where the word "SH*t comes from? Well here it is: Certain types of manure used to be transported by ship(as everything was back then). In dry form it weighs allot less,but once water (at sea) hit it,it not only became heavier,but the process of fermentation began again,of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could(and did) happen, methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below deck at night with a lantern BOOOOM!! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was discovered what was happening. After that ,the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "S.H.*.T." on them which meant to the sailors to "Ship High In Transit" In other words,high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came in the hold would not touch the volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Bet you didn't know that one. Here I always thought it was a golf term.

[Mel]

Girls are good...I'm afraid of the shit you'll post to get'em here. :eusa_shifty:

[sparkie]

Girls are good...I'm afraid of the shit you'll post to get'em here. :eusa_shifty:

LOL,,,,,, All I have to do is ask,,,,,,,,,