I love AC's humor and I'd like a forum for lonerg funny stories

[LetsTripOutAndDie]

I'm going to start adding my funny stories, sayings or jokes I write about videos on here.

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@ GRAPHIC * Syria - man with large wound - You guys have it all wrong lol these people were rushing this man to a hospital when out of the crowd a man appeared and said move let me see so they were elated now a doctor can help save this man while in route to the hospital so the man starts pulling open the other mans chest to get a better look and after a good minute or so he pulls his hands out of the mans chest and says ahh I see, now the crowd waiting with great anticipation to know what this man can tell them after examining the other mans wound is confused to see the man calmly starts to walk away. When the crowd stops the man and says where are you going you haven't told us us if the man will live or die, how bad is his condition doctor? The man looks around the crowd and says doctor, I'm not a doctor how am I supposed to know his condition I just wanted a better look at that mans crazy huge wound and asked let me see and you did let me see. I never said I was a doctor. bah dum bump lmao -

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@Video: FSA Fighters Fail With Their Sophisticated Mortar - The dude who picked up the mortar probably was told by one of the other guys " allah damn it were you rasied in a barn, dont leave your damn trash laying on the floor pick it up and throw it away " but then the guy picking it up said " I was rasied in a barn and so were you."

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@Video: Syrian army tank explodes into fireball - GOAL!!!!! Those silly bastards really love there soccer don't they? Running around a war zone yelling GOAL!!!! everywhere with their hands in the air, what a true fan. Thats what he's saying right or am I wrong?

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@New!!! NEWS REPORTER SNIPED BY SAA SYRIA - Here's how it went with the reporter and SAA machine gunner/ sniper on the other side, Machine gunner: "You ought to do a story about me sometime!" Reporter: "Why should I do a story about you?!" Machine gunner: "Because I'm so fucking good! That ain't no shit nether! I done got me 157 dead FSA killed and 50 goats too... them were all certified!" Reporter: "Any reporters?!" Machine gunner: "Sometimes?!" Reporter: "How can you shoot reporters?!" Machine gunner: "Easy... you just don't lead them so much_ hahaha! Look theirs a reporter now! Bam, Bam, Bam! HA_ make that 158 dead FSA killed know! Ain't war hell?! Hhaahaha"

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@US military F/A-18 strikes in Iraq Part 1 - @opossum - lets not argue, my heart can't take us fighting anymore ( trying not to laugh ) can't we all just get along and just have some makeup texts lmao? See isn't humor much better then being too serious Have some fun on AC because as John Lennon said “Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friends." and remember "laughter is the best medicine."

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@GRAPHIC * Syria - man with large wound - " My god no gloves no nothing just looking for shrapnel " - homie ran up in his chest straight raw because everyone knows latex takes away all the feeling. He must of sweet talked his way in him raw as I mentioned before by using the old it dulls the feeling. So he says how about you just let me stick the tip in and if it still bothers you I promise I'll pull it out, you know you can trust me, but before that guy could even answer homie was balls... ohh I mean knuckles deep in his ass lol, ohh yeah he then did the same in his chest :) The guys know what I'm talking about right, right, right, " high fiving " lmao :evilgrin:

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@Video: Security Contractors Eliminate Attacking Somali Pirates - What could be a better warning shot than a bullet through that Somalis ebola carrying head...anyone (looking around) anyone, no? Then we all agree ? Great, great, then let's warn a few more :evilgrin:

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@Video: AC-130H Spectre Gunship in Afghanistan - Another AC oldie but goodie vid. P.S. Now that same sex marriage is legal can I marry an AC-130? If not how about a one night stand... Hey NSA Guy!!! Yeah you, since you're reading this as I write it, can I or not? I swear I'll be a total gentleman so let me know :lol:

[Rhntz]

Yea lets

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Video: AC-130U Nightfire & JTAC Training - Cannon AFB, NM - Puff the magic dragon killed from far above the trees, and loitered creating pink mist in the land of our enemies, Special operators loved that killer Puff, and brought him fresh targets that they needed blowing up, Together they would travel on a burnt and bloody trail, They kept a lookout with FLIR perched in gigantic Puff that gave them greater details, No enemy was ever brave, they panicked when they came, insurgents would lower their flags when Puff roared with his power and his awesome aim, Dragons live forever but not insurgents who fight like little boys, Painting targets for its giant Gatlings would clear the way for others who would deploy, One sad day it will happen, the special operators will call on him no more, and Puff that magic dragon will cease his fearless roar, His structure will decay from lack of maintenance, His paint will chip and fall like rain, Puff will no longer go to train along the firing range, Without his life with the Ops, Puff cant protect those who are so brave, So Puff that magic dragon will sadly slip away. - Lets :USA:

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" GRAPHIC" Syrian's Face Ripped Off by Tank Shell or BMP Cannon "GRAPHIC':evilgrin: His mother always said "Keep your mind out of the gutter!" :evilgrin:

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" GRAPHIC" Syrian's Face Ripped Off by Tank Shell or BMP Cannon "GRAPHIC' - Too bad she didn't include "keep your face out too."

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" GRAPHIC" Syrian's Face Ripped Off by Tank Shell or BMP Cannon "GRAPHIC' - Since Jihadis aka Islamic terrorists say they fight for Allah, and since Allah supposably gives 72 virgin to a killed terrorist ergo Allah must be the greatest pimp ever. This vid shows how strong Allah keeps his pimp hand, I think what happened was this snack bar must of been talking shit like " fuck that only 72 bitches rule I'm going take as many as I want who's going to stop me you know what I mean my sand ni%#a)" When Allah heard this snack bar says he's going to take more then 72 of his bitches without paying for the others ( since you only get 72 bitches by paying for them with your soul you can never get more of allah's form of money because you only have one soul) Allah was having no of that shit and since Allah keeps his pimp hand strong apparently he pimp slapped that snack bar so hard he knocked his fucking face off and while he was still alive Allah said to him mentally and out loud to everyone around "playing with my money and bitches is like playing with my emotions and I don't like snack bars playing with my emotions, now get your asses back on the track and make me more martyrs before I have to pimp slap another motherfucker .

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Video: Phony Navy SEAL of the WEEK MELVIN KENT FLECK - God speed Sir ( Don Shipley ) I hope this punk gets put away where he will actually have foreign objects inserted and exerted regularly into his cough...asshole...cough body for real, excuse me I must be catching a cold AC'ers lets help Don out by calling this criminal and let him hear what some of AC's vets think about this sub human committing crimes like the Stolen Valor Act and see if he'd like a face to face meeting with one of us before the prisoners get their turn and for his sake he better pray Don doesn't find him ever because I have a feeling Don won't leave much left of this trash but a wet spot on the pavement

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U.S. Airstrike Against Isil Vehicle Storage Area - Dabomb " That clip made my d*** hard " - It's funny seeing pussy gets any guys dick hard, and seeing "Pussy" terrorists getting fucked like a pussy gets a guys dick hard too :evilgrin: And these airstrikes are pounding that terrorist pussy like it's going out of style :lol:

[polsmich]

Funny is always good

[z0ne0ne]

Hahahaha!! Golden. "Yes, I love technology.. I am a machine, she's a machine.. It's a match made in the heavens.... Hey NSA dude/chick reading this- if my Apache and my Warthog are overseas, where multiple wives is cool, can we get some 3some action??"

EDIT: I don't mean to be culturally insensitive, I'm just poking fun at stereotypes.. Humour is something of a virtue, in my opinion.

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@Video: AC-130H Spectre Gunship in Afghanistan - I'm still waiting on your answer NSA guy watching me type right now as usual can I or can't I marry an AC-130? Since we now allow anyone to marry anything.

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Video: Hell's Cannon - HighlanderGunn " never seen so many idiots in one place in all my life " - I have ever year at the state of the union address... Booyah lol thank you , thank you, (bowing ) I'll be here all week good night AC

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Dammmmn!!!....they always said he had a glass jaw but that shit is ridiculous! - Awe, why the long face - Well he'll never be the public face of a major corporation - What a dumb ass everyone knows you don't mix Pop Rocks and soda or your face will explode, duh! - At least if hollywood needs someone to play Droopy he'll be first on the list followed closely by maggie Gyllenhaal - Kids this is why you don't chew/eat with your mouth open - Why so sad you can't ever say snackbar again that's great because even goat fuckers get tired of that shit - Don't be sad keep your chin up....if you find it - So that's what snack bar dentistry looks like - His dentist was like I told you this what happens if you don't floss - The tooth fairy hit the jackpot with with this motherfucker with all those teeth he lost - This guy saw a western woman and it caused his jaw hit the floor like Tex Avery's howling wolf - at least he doesn't have to worry about flossing anymore - Like Taylor Swift just shake it off you still got some parts of your face....kind of - if captured the fsa doesn't have to worry about him being a snitch - a little duct tape and he'll be good as gold because there's nothing duct tape can't fix..... alright Trip that's enough, you sure? yes! ok then

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"Not a good time to loose ones head" "it's a shame he wasn't more head strong" " that's not the way to get ahead in life" "he'll never be the head of a major corporation". Okay that'll do, okay

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New Graphic SAA Sniper kills a rebel trying to save a naked female as the video says 4 rebels were killed trying to save the woman guys there is something intresting i found if u go to google and type : (Jihad alnekah sex) u will see that many muslim sheikhs in saudi arabia made a fatwa which is a new rule that a mujahid a fsa fighter can have sex with anywoman even if his married but it has to be on a battlefield im not jokking the real truth to this video is this woman was caught by the saa while she was working as a whore for the fsa so they made her as target bait to snipe out 4 rebels/ - They should of used a donkey. They could of killed the entire fsa brigade that way :evilgrin:

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Karmas a Bitch This is what you get for executing-prisoners with a AA Guns - Isn't it ironic don't you think, it's like shooting a AA executioner in the back with his AA gun when he should of been humane, it's a free Syrian army that didn't free anyone, it's a cruel FSA that should never of been made but it's already too late, and who would of thought it figured!

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Karmas a Bitch This is what you get for executing-prisoners with a AA Guns - oh too bad no 72 Virgin donkeys or goats for you, you tard that's how dumb you are you were a tard before a retard